"Why did you want me?" Jane and Carlo Clementino smile when they hear this familiar question from their adopted daughter, Idah, 9. The Burlington, Ont., couple, members of St. Paul's United in nearby Dundas, wanted Idah from the moment they met her in 2003, and maybe even before that. Their desire to welcome her into their family drove them to spend three and a half years fighting a system that often seemed bent on returning Idah to the orphanage in Malawi that had been her home -- the very same orphanage from which popstar Madonna famously adopted 13-month-old David Banda last fall.
Idah doesn't ask the question because she doubts her parents' love. She just likes the answer: "We always dreamed of having a little girl who was black and smart and beautiful." Usually, Idah grins and then asks, "But how did you know I was smart?"
Idah's life story begins in the village of Kadewere in western Malawi, a country of about 13 million people whose life expectancy is 37, largely due to the AIDS epidemic. Two weeks after she and her twin sister were born, their mother died. Their father fed the girls nothing but water for a week, watching in desperation as their health deteriorated. He took them to an orphanage called the Home of Hope in the nearby town of Mchinji and begged the owners, Rev. and Mrs. Chipeta, to take his daughters. The Chipetas, both senior citizens, hesitated. The orphanage wasn't equipped to handle infants and had never accepted babies. But, their unshakable faith that God always provides prevailed. They took the twins and cared for them in their own quarters.
Idah's sister, born with an abnormality, died within two months. Idah saw her father only once more: five years later he came to the orphanage to drop off her older brother and spent just a few minutes with his surviving daughter at someone else's prompting.
The tragedy of her early life behind her, Idah settled into the routine at the Home of Hope. She attended worship services twice daily, ate regular, nutritious meals and later attended school. With hundreds of other orphans at the home and their numbers swelling all the time (to more than 420 in 2006), there was always someone to play with during the day and to snuggle with at night. One photo shows four-year-old Idah beaming with pride because someone had strapped a baby to her back. It was common practice for girls her age to carry infants. "One time I was running and I dropped him. He started crying, but he was okay," she remembers.
Then, a twist of fate. In April 2000, a retired elementary school teacher and member of St. Andrew's United in Brantford, Ont., was headed to Africa to do some volunteer work and to visit a Malawian child she sponsored through World Vision. Just before leaving, Jane Glaves received word from World Vision that the trip was off due to a volatile political situation. Glaves informed the international charity that she was going anyway. "Surely, there is work to do in Malawi," she recalls saying. The World Vision representative told her about a desperately poor orphanage there that could use her help, and soon after Glaves found herself surrounded by children at the Home of Hope.
Whether it was fate or providence, something clicked. The Chipetas needed someone with a strong vision for the growing orphanage, someone who could access money, supplies and expertise from North America to support its future. Glaves, who had been a foster parent to more than 400 Canadian kids in her lifetime, needed a new mission.
For several years, and still to this day, she would spend about half the year volunteering at the Home of Hope, and the other half in Canada raising funds -- more than $25,000 per year. While at the orphanage, Glaves would take charge of caring for the most vulnerable children, typically the very young and the very sick. Idah, a bright and adaptable little girl in perfect health, liked to help the Canadian senior care for the babies and soon formed a strong attachment to "Auntie Jane."
In the spring of 2003, Glaves became deeply concerned about the medical condition of twin three-year-old boys in her care. Severely malnourished when they were first brought to the orphanage as infants, Glaves had nursed them back to health. Twice in their short lifetimes, their father had returned to reclaim them, only to bring them back again in worse shape. Their development had fallen behind. Neither one could walk or talk, and their hair had turned orange, a symptom of malnutrition. Due to return to Canada that April, Glaves worried that if she left the boys behind, they would become severely ill, or worse. On the other hand, she worried that if she brought them to Canada for treatment, the culture shock would overwhelm them. Glaves worked her Canadian connections and found a solution: she obtained six-month visitors visas for three children. Two for the boys, and one for five-year-old Idah, who would be a familiar face and help the boys bridge the gap.
That May, Jane Clementino learned that Glaves was in Canada with two boys and a girl from the Malawi orphanage she'd supported over the years. Would the Clementinos be interested in meeting them?
The Clementinos had been talking about expanding their family. They liked the idea of parenting a child "who's already born" as well as the challenge of international adoption.
"We wanted to do something that was going to make a difference," Jane explains. "We were up for the fight, but it was the faith behind all that that gave us strength. It was -- this is what we're supposed to do and why we're supposed to do it. It made sense. No child is supposed to live in those conditions." With three boys of their own, they had their sights set on a little girl. Adoption was the first thing that popped into their heads when Glaves' daughter called.
A few weeks later, the Clementinos loaded their kids into the family van and drove to the Brant Conservation Area in Brantford to meet Idah and the twins.
The three and a half years that followed are a blur of international adoption lawyers, endless documentation, negotiation and manoeuvering. In December 2003, when the visitors' visas ran out and Glaves was scheduled to return to Malawi, the lawyers found a way to keep the children in Canada legally by transferring their care to the Children's Aid Society. The Clementinos took Idah into their home as a foster child and the boys went to foster parents in London, Ont. But the biggest obstacle to making Idah a permanent member of the Clementino family was that no Canadian had ever adopted a child from Malawi. Unlike international adoptions from countries such as China, Romania or Guatemala, the systems weren't in place, the laws weren't clear and everything had to be done from scratch.
The Clementinos' personalities likely helped them through it all. Jane, a 42-year-old travel consultant, has the kind of mind that needs the world to be logical. In telling her tale of endless bureaucratic roadblocks, she often stops and says, "Are you kidding me?
That just didn't make sense!"
Carlo, a 47-year-old machinist, is quiet, patient and methodical yet just as unwavering as his wife. "We fight the struggles; we don't usually give up on anything," he says. "Every stage is different so you deal with what you have to. You don't say, `Again!' You just do it."
Last October, foreign adoption from Malawi came into the international spotlight when Madonna adopted David Banda from the Home of Hope. Glaves herself helped negotiate the deal with Madonna's staff but was already back in Canada when the popstar came to choose a child.
The Clementinos believe their efforts to adopt Idah paved the way for Madonna. "We had gone through all the same steps before her. All the same documents, all the same people. They just followed the same process. They exempted her from living in the country for 18 months, same as they exempted us," Jane says. "I was just laughing when I read about it."
Then, of course, there's the incredible Idah herself. Meeting her, it's hard to believe she was once a developing world orphan with an infant tied to her back. These days, she's ensconced in middle-class Canadian family life, excelling as a Grade 3 student and playing rep soccer and basketball.
Adjusting to Canada wasn't always easy, though, especially in the first year. For example, Jane says whenever Idah was in public, she would go up to black people just to say hi. Jane followed her daughter's lead and together they would chat up the strangers.
Her first Christmas, Idah told Santa she wanted to be white. "Yeah. That was a hard one," Jane admits. Children's books about multiculturalism and a few heart-to-hearts helped. "She's okay with it now," Jane says. "She doesn't look for (other black people) anymore."
Idah's school has also played a significant role in helping her celebrate her heritage. Each of her classmates has been matched with a pen pal at the Home of Hope -- their letters hand-delivered by Idah.
The courts finally approved Idah's adoption in January. Jane says her daughter didn't have a big emotional response to the news. Idah's more excited about upcoming celebrations. A trip to Disney World, Florida, is in the works. And the Clementinos are planning a party for 200 people this month to thank all those who have supported them through the adoption process. "It was such a struggle and there was no part that was easy. So we should really celebrate it and we should celebrate it big," Jane says.
Idah has her own thoughts about her big party. "We're going to have a big disco floor with a big disco ball at the top. And I'm going to wear a pretty dress."
